


Guilt

by StevetheIcecube



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Past Character Death, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 01:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15961670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StevetheIcecube/pseuds/StevetheIcecube
Summary: Killing Haze hurt Jin a lot more than he felt it should have. Trying to justify it to himself didn't make him feel any better.





	Guilt

The first person Jin went to see after Malos left him alone again was Lora. He knew he had some explaining to do, after what had happened today.

The base of the ship was as silent as always. They were too deep underwater for any sounds to get through from the surface, and with Akhos and Patroka out managing their next step and doing damage control for what had happened in Temperantia, the ship was very quiet.

Jin approached Lora's form carefully. It was as if he was trying to find a way to talk to her about the bad news. It was like she was still alive, sometimes, even though Lora had never been quiet when she was alive. "I went to Temperantia today," he said, his voice still rough. "You know, where Judicium used to be. Mor Ardain, the fools, have been excavating titan weapons there. For us, we just wanted to get Indol to stop sitting in the background."

He looked up at Lora's face and sighed. "I wish it had been anyone but her. I really do. She- I thought she had no idea. I thought she'd lost herself entirely. But in those final moments she seemed...she seemed to know me.

"I didn't explain, sorry. It was Haze, there. She'd been robbed of half her core crystal by that worm Amalthus. He probably still has the other half. She didn't return to her core. She's- I killed her, Lora. I killed her because I thought I could save her."

He tore his eyes away from Lora's lifeless form. It wasn't fair. This world was so wretched. There was no one alive who hadn't loved Haze. No one. He had never met anyone more agreeable, more gentle, more considerate than Haze. 

Seeing her working for Indol hadn't really been a shock. They'd known for years where Haze had ended up after Lora's death. He'd heard endless talk of her. The Goddess of the Praetorium was how she was known and, as such, even with a different name, they'd all known exactly who she was.

Jin had never been on the receiving end of her power before. Five hundred years had passed since he'd even seen her. But he knew her immediately. He knew the feeling of her ether coursing through the air. He knew she was involved from Mikhail and Patroka, but from the moment that his limbs slowed and even breathing became a chore he knew exactly what was going on and exactly what he had to do.

When he'd done it, he'd acted on instinct. A burst of energy when they weren't paying enough attention. When she was distracted, thinking about what he knew that she didn't. He'd known that he'd have to kill her; he'd known that he should, given who she was fighting for now. Gone was the gentle look she used to regard him with.

"She wasn't the same person, I swear," he said. She couldn't have been. "She didn't call herself Haze anymore. Amalthus...he stole something vital from her. Something that made her who she was." Trying to convince himself that it was okay was futile. It wasn't okay because Haze was gone. Gone forever. He'd snatched her life from her in a way that shouldn't have been possible for a blade.

"I'm sorry, Lora," he said. "It feels like the whole world you loved is vanishing. Even Gormott, peaceful and beautiful, has been torn by war and gradually decreases in fertility every year." Within decades, if not less, Alrest would tear itself apart.

"It's not completely gone." Mikhail's voice sounded from the top of the stairs. He'd been listening, then. Of course he had. His memory of Haze had been shaky at best, given how old he was when she'd been snatched away, but it was still...she'd still been important to him.

"Mik, now isn't the time," he said. He didn't know what a good time to discuss this would be, but now certainly wasn't it. "You spoke to Malos, I assume?"

Mikhail nodded, coming to stand next to Jin, facing Lora's frozen form. "You did the right thing," he said. "This world is pretty awful. And Haze was a good part of it, when the world still had an inch of kindness left in it. But I saw her. That wasn't Haze. Not any more."

Jin sighed. He knew that, but it didn't make him feel any better. He'd killed her. "She would have arrested you without any hesitation and delivered you right to the feet of our beloved Praetor," Mikhail continued. "You know she would have."

"She knew that there was a part of her missing," Jin said. "When I spoke to her, she knew. And she knew that I remembered her, in a time long in her past. But I couldn't- I knew I couldn't."

"She wouldn't blame you for what you did, Jin," he said. "Lora nor Haze. Haze wasn't the kind to compromise. She would have known that you made the best decision. Think of all the people who will no longer be able to abuse her power."

Jin nodded, finally able to tear his eyes away from Lora. "We should get to planning our next move," he said. "Hopefully this has pushed Amalthus to allow the Aegis to open the path to the World Tree, finally."

"If this doesn't, I don't know what would," Mik said. "I wish I could plunge a blade right through that bastard's heart."

"The core," Jin remembered. "You saw it, yes? Her core, cleaved in two. Is that anything like yours...?"

Mikhail shook his head. "Whatever Amalthus did with her core, it's moved long past what he did to me."

"All the more reason to end him swiftly," Jin said. "We just need to wait for the right moment." That moment would come. It had to. Their path to the Architect wouldn't go unnoticed by Amalthus forever. And when the moment came, Jin knew he'd like nothing more than to impale him, avenging the wrong that had been done to Alrest for so many years.

**Author's Note:**

> Who's ready for Golden Country to rip their heart out this Friday!? (:


End file.
